When the Black in Cablinasian, says, “GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!”

Tiger Woods, fist pump.

Before the fame of Tiger Woods, I never heard the word, in fact it is found in the Wiktionary as a mix of Caucasian, Black, American Indian, Indian, and Asian ethnicities. 

A mispronunciation can sound phonetically as “cannibalism.” 

With the United States wrestling to acknowledge its 400 years of repression, sexism, misogyny, and RACISM! People of color, who were “waiting to exhale,” are breathing, BLACK LIVES MATTER! when the most famous golfer in the world, a man of color, the most outstanding CABLINASIAN, was involved in an automobile accident on a California highway (2/22/2021). 

As a man of African descent, and a son of one of many that crossed “the middle passage,” to build the “new world,” I thought of Tiger Woods, and why he decided not to call himself “BLACK.” 

Throughout those centuries, the black man was gold to the world’s economy. The sugar cane could not reach Europe, for the gentry to sweeten their tea, for the molasses to make rum, the cotton to produce clothing for the elite, were it not for “black muscle.”

That muscle became entertaining, so the plantocracy, and money launderers, saw wealth in buying and selling that muscle, in namely, SPORTS:  JACK JOHNSON, JACKIE ROBINSON, JESSE OWENS, JOE LOUIS, MAHAMMED ALI, MICHAEL JORDAN. 

For most of these athletes, it was Caucasian ingenuity, that made their ascent to worldwide glory, and thus they were introduced to a world heretofore unknown, a world the African American woman could not match. But beware of a world that you have no control of, it can bite you like a rattler, especially when that muscle turns to fat, and the twinkle in “their eyes” has turned to darkness. 

Tiger was riding high until he stepped out on his Caucasian wife, and went on a rampage of sex escapades, Not, with Cablinasian women! What? How dare he perform a multiple JACK JOHNSON? He lost all his endorsements, but for two. Just imagine, Gillette fired him, for sleeping with women not his wife. ONLY MEN WHO SLEEP WITH THEIR WIVES USE GILLETTE SHAVERS (Ha!) 

Nine years later, the Tiger muscle roared again, (not unlike Mohammed Ali), and the sponsors came back, including Gillette; but Tiger was still sleeping with Caucasian women, including a ski jumping star and she was not married to him. 

Tiger has an 11-year-old son (Charlie), who has begun to show some of that Black muscle. Aha! The money launderers are rubbing their palms, this is another winner in the offing! Maybe?

So, Tiger is preparing for the Masters at Agusta, next month (March 2021). He is close to being a billionaire. He is still single and is on a California highway alone when he crashes his car. If we look at all the celebrities in our world, what percentage of black men in this financial capacity are involved in drunk driving, hit and runs, speeding? And they make the evening news every time. 

Tiger Woods is not involved in his first car crash. He has had plenty of women, plenty of money, loves the Cadillac, loves the limelight, is divorced, and has children, who live primarily with his ex-wife. SOUNDS LIKE A BLACK MAN TO ME. So what’s missing? Tiger’s never had any thick black cake; pound cake is no match. When that day arrives, Tiger Woods voice will change, and you will hear him say with a roar: “GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, I AM A BLACK MAN!” 

Published by Oswald Copeland

Born 1946, Georgetown Guyana, South America. Broadcast journalist since 1968. Been living in the United States, since 1974. Has done extensive work in sales and marketing, and likes to write about culture in and around Baltimore Md. His personal passion is healthy living: www.losebumpsloselumps.com. Creator and Executive Editor of THECULTUREPAGEDOTCOM.

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