James Bond by Marvel Comics

One of many logos for the new Bond film. Photo credit Wallideas.net

One of many logos for the new Bond film. Photo credit Wallideas.net

John Kitzmiller, Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, in the 1962 film D. No. Photo from Flicker.com

John Kitzmiller, Ursula Andress, and Sean Connery in the 1962 film Dr. No.
Photo from Flicker.com

O.K. He blows up an adjoining building, that collapses , yet he runs away without being hurt. He is surrounded by 6 or 7 gunmen, all machine gun armed, yet he escapes, without a scratch! He is in a car outfitted with a myriad of gadgets, but he does not know what they do, but manages to figure it out, and parachutes into the air, landing safely without a scratch. “Hold UP! Is this a video game?”

Needless to say, I am talking about the modern day James Bond in his latest dish,  SPECTRE. Am I watching a Marvel Comics production, like CAPTAIN AMERICA, Avengers, Ant-Man? I felt I was watching a Saturday morning cartoon. Was this made for ages nine to seventeen?

On closer look, Money Penny, Bond’s famous secretary is black (of African descent) , and does more than greet James at the office, is a secondary spy. I am all for equity, but this is a miss. Nothing impressive. An implication that she might have tasted James nakedness.

“Q”,  Bonds wizard genius, looks like a young Captain Kangaroo. Too young to have the experience required for that position. Bad idea.

The love scene with Monica Bellucci, was a “shot, far left of the mark”. No build up, no seduction, why would she give her body to Bond for a one night stand? She was old looking, neck strings; he was cold as frozen turkey, for the month of Thanksgiving? Yuck!!

Daniel Craig has a middleweight boxer’s face, and a weightlifter’s body, he belongs in the “ring” or in a soldier’s uniform. He cannot pass the “spy” test. I’ve seen him in other films, “eh!”

This is British intelligence, set by the suave and believable actions of Sean Connery; one can actually believe most of what Bond represented in From Russia With Love, Goldfinger. Sean’s body movement, the love scenes, Ursula Andress, Dr. No, Pussy Galore, lasting impressions. Daniel Craig, like all the other Bonds after Sean, will be forgotten, quickly. Like Saturday morning cartoons: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.